Anotherlife

This is going to be my last post for awhile, there's some shit I have to address for myself personally and than Im going to take a break from social media for a minute while I get my life together. Tonight, while on my way to Trevs visitation, I had a massive meltdown, I think it was the worst one to date. Trev and I grew really close after my marriage fell apart, we both were going through the same shit and he played a big part in helping me get through each new day. When I heard the news he took his own life, I was and still am devastated and heartbroken. On all my darkest days he was my go to guy cause he understood exactly how and why I was there. After his passing my first thought was, if he couldn't bring himself to bare another day of this life than how the fuck am I supposed to? I been a fucking mess and questioning everything in my life.

I let myself get consumed by hate for what Stevie had done to me not just in the last 9 months' ut more so the last 6 years. All my time and effort was going i… my music and this absurd reality that i was going to get my revenge. It wasn't until I was halfway into tonights meltdown that I could see things more clearly. I was so caught up in the anger and bitterness and hatred that completely lost myself in the process. I think in the beginning I thought I was doing the right thing and some really amazing songs and creativity came out of it, but instead of moving forward was just going backwards a lot further back than where I even started and whatvi realized was that if i continue down this path of hatred and anger than eventually I would probably take my own life as well. If anything positive can come from Trevor passing away, its the fact that will not let the things have loved and lost take my life from me.

As of right now am unsure about everything that has to do with Anotherlife, know Im going to continue writing and playing music but it has to be motivated by the right reasons and has to be something that keeps me moving forward in the right direction. Deep down in my soul, know I am a good, loving, caring and honest person, but I let my emotions take the wheel and drive in the opposite direction of everything I stand for. For the most part I have taken the high road in the aftermath of my marriage, I am a firm believer that there are just some lines you dont cross and some things you cant come back from if you do. I was starting to balance on both sides of that line and on the verge of losing the last bit of anything good I had in me.

Thank you to everyone has helped me through this time of my life and for everyone who took the time to reach out and compliment me on my music. Again, I am unsure of the future for this project or even what im going to do with my life. I know that I just want to move forward and to live my life while im still alive.