Chapter XV. LETTERS FROM THE PAST

"But you yourself must not distinguish your victory from your defeat"

B. Pasternak

A Run of Bad Luck

"I have some questions I have not been able to find the answers to. According to your theory, if I look for the good in everything I should end up riding a wave of positive events. I tried that but it did not work for me, and it was not just the once, otherwise I would not have noticed it.

I will give you an example. About six months ago I had a great job that suited me perfectly and made me happy. I lived for my work. I had good friends, a partner, a home and my parents lived close by. I was genuinely happy, and what is more, I knew I was happy. I even envied myself a little I was so happy. Life was chilled and everything made sense, but I knew it could not last forever. Then I had to leave and now I have no home, very few friends and a job that does not match my qualifications or personal plans…

Here is another example. I was about to graduate from university. For the two years prior to graduation I spent a lot of time at the faculty building close relationships with the lecturers and other students. During the final term I even had a physical sense of what a wonderful, unrepeatable period in my life this was and so I tried to commit every day to memory. Then I had an offer to stay and work at the institute. I was beside myself with joy! But then there were cut backs in university staff and I was not offered a position after all and spent six months unemployed just sitting around at home. These were truly dark days.

In other words, there have been many times in my life when I have been truly happy and thanked God for it only for it all to be ruined by a run of bad luck. In my case, the law you talk about did not work and I got drawn onto a negative wave of events. And when I was really low and started to whine and complain about things it is as if I was given a clue or some kind of help, although according to your theory this should have swept me way off course…

These are the kinds of contradictions I have been experiencing. I would be grateful if you could help me understand them better".

There are no contradictions in your case. On the contrary, everything is working out just as it should and although it may not be clear to you why it suddenly rains after the sun has shone, you express the reason for this wonderfully clearly in your letter.

The reason has always been and will always be the same: the world is a mirror of your relationship to it. The difference between the former and the latter only lies in the fact that a mirror reflects change instantly whereas the world's response may take a few days or even several months.

Look at what you have written: "Life was chilled and everything made sense but I knew it could not last forever. … During the final term I even had a physical sense of what a wonderful, unrepeatable period in my life this was."

Where in your opinion is the contradiction? In your relationship to these periods in your life you chose the program and the world fulfilled it impeccably. The world always manifests your personal choice perfectly. This in fact is all it ever does.

You express your complaint about the mirror in the following way: "…there have been many times in my life when I have been truly happy and thanked God for it only to then have a run of bad luck!" So, what caused the run of bad luck?

If I tell you where a run of bad luck comes from you will not believe me. Even if your letter had not contained the key phrases I have quoted it would not be difficult to name the reason for the phases of bad luck you describe. There is nothing unique about what you write, for we always make the same mistake.

The thing is, that the run of bad luck that followed the run of good luck, was not a run of bad luck at all. You just decided to paint it in dark colours. Nothing bad can follow from something good. In reality, after something good, something better always follows but you did not see it this way. You could not accept the changes that were underway and so put your negative relationship to the world out there. The world gave you a mirror reflection of it and transformed your choice into physical reality.

Such is the nature of the human mind that it stubbornly insists on its own script. Anything that does not fit the script is considered a failure. And vice versa, only things that the mind has already imagined are accepted as a sign of success. The mind is quite obstinate in this regard and this quality originates in an inflated sense of self-importance and established social stereotypes.

How can your mind know what is really good for it and what is not? Can it possibly foresee how things will turn out? Great success never knocks on the door beforehand; it always literally drops out of the sky. Have you never wondered why this is? It is because in this instance the mind is distracted and has not been able to hinder success from being realised.

Only in the moment when the mind releases its deadly grip of control over the script can success break through the solid line of defence. If success could be planned there would be no need for us to have all these conversations in the first place. Plan and get what you planned for? Only very rarely.

The mind is not capable of designing an algorithm of success. Sometimes readers ask me how they should act in one specific situation or another. How could I possibly know how they should act? Never believe anyone who claims to know the recipe for success in any given situation. No-one is given to know these things.

So, where does the answer lie? The answer lies in the world that is your mirror! Transurfing offers the most amazing discovery. All you have to do is make a choice and then get out of the way of its material realisation.

The paradox is that we do not have to know precisely how to find success and in fact it is actually better that we do not know. Did you really think that Transurfing would give you yet another recipe for success? It is beyond the calibre of the mind to make up such a recipe. The whole beauty of it all is that the recipe writes itself!

The mind's task is to avoid hindering the alternatives flow, the natural course of events, with its tendency for control. The alternatives flow always runs in the direction of your choice. This is why, once you have made a choice you can boldly depend on the coordination of intention principle: my intention is being realised; everything is working towards its realisation and everything is unfolding as it should.

Let us return to the run of bad luck. Every time you encountered a run of bad luck you missed an opportunity of some kind; the chance to make the run of good luck even luckier. The mind could not accept the nature of forthcoming events or interpreted them as negative, as a result of which, the negativity became manifest in all its glory.

Do not be upset at the thought of opportunities lost. If you define your goal and hold fast to the principle of coordination, a wonderful discovery will await you. You will see that all the mistakes you made previously served towards this goal. You would never have achieved it if you had not encountered the previous setbacks. On the other hand, if you had not made those mistakes you would still have reached your goal it is just that it would have taken a different shape. You do not have to limit yourself to the potential of one goal only. There are infinite goals at your disposal. This is how mysterious, magnificent and generous the world really is.

So, do not despair: if you move towards your innermost goal the past will lie before you. Perhaps until now you have allowed yourself to be distracted by other people's goals?

The Game of Partners

"You said that seemingly incompatible individuals marry as if to punish one another. When I read this I thought it described my situation perfectly. Could you give me any practical advice as to how to find a way out of the situation, what to do and think.

I have tried many times to improve my relationship. Sometimes things get better but the effect is always temporary, and then I understand that my wife and I are just fundamentally incompatible and I should try to build a relationship with a different woman. I have chosen to get a divorce. I really want to end the relationship but there is shared property involved and so circumstances prevent me from carrying out my plans quickly and smoothly with minimum losses.

Sometimes when I get angry and feel prepared to end it all there and then, whatever the circumstances and consequences the relationship seems to improve for no apparent reason, but soon after, it all kicks off again. What can I do from the point of view of Transurfing to change the situation?"

It is true that the majority of divorces come about for the relatively trivial reason that the partners involved refuse to accept each other as they are. You might be thinking that this explanation is wrong and that I will show you why but you would be mistaken.

It is not a matter of who is right and who is wrong. Awareness, or rather the lack of it, is the one banal yet key cause of conflicts that seems to arise over the trivial things in life.

Annoyance reflects a lack of awareness. In non-lucid dreaming the dream just happens to the dreamer; they are not aware that what they are seeing is just a dream because they are so totally absorbed in the game. In the same way, people who are living asleep in the waking world react negatively like an oyster reacts to any external irritant. Everyone understands theoretically that each individual has a right to their own weird personality traits and eccentricities and that they are not obliged to change if they are a little different to us. Yet most people are only aware of this when they are asked about it directly. In all other cases, the annoyance factor is triggered unconsciously.

The type of person who is asleep in the waking world cannot allow themselves or others to be themselves. They create dependent relationships which generate polarisation and evoke the wind of balanced forces which brings people with diametrically opposed personality traits together in order to cancel out the dissimilarity between them.

In addition to everything else, sensing a polarity of qualities, pendulums induce actions that cause even more annoyance. You may have noticed that sometimes your partner seems to do things deliberately to annoy you. Be aware that in the majority of cases they are not conscious of what they are doing. Their actions are influenced by a pendulum that wants to annoy you even more so that it can then feed on the energy of your irritation.

You illustrate how polarisation works in your letter when you write: "Sometimes when I get angry and feel prepared to end it all there and then, whatever the circumstances and consequences, the relationship seems to improve for no apparent reason."

When you agree, "whatever the circumstances" you let go your grip as if saying: "Let it burn!" In this moment, the effect of polarisation is weakened; the wind of balanced forces quietens and the pendulum leaves you alone. As a result, the relationship temporarily improves.

It would be more accurate to say that people who are similar in character are more incompatible than people who are very different. Translated into the language of fact, when people say "we are not compatible" or "our personalities clash" what they really mean is "we could not accept each other the way we are".

In reality, people with opposite characters can and should be able to live happily together in harmony. There is a reason why balanced forces bring opposites together thereby supporting the status quo. You may know, as I do, of couples who have split up many times during the course of a long-term relationship, each time believing the split was serious, packing suitcases, smashing plates, burning family photographs, tearing up certificates of marriage and carrying out other equally as inflammatory rituals. Each act of drama is likewise accompanied by terrible oaths that this time it is for real and there is no going back. Yet the storm subsides and both warriors calm down and go back to living together again.

All these conflicts armed with rolling pins and plates could be avoided if those involved could step down from the stage into the auditorium and observe the act, i.e. their life together from a different perspective. It is essential that at least one of the partners do this.

Why is a life shared by two people like a play? Because each takes on a role: I will be this person and I will do such and such, and such and such that you do irritates me. People become immersed in the play and behave without conscious awareness as if they were sleeping in the waking world. Life 'happens' to them and so they are incapable of influencing the script however hard they try, and try they do.

Remember how when you were little you used to play at being grown-ups? Unlike adults, children are aware of the fact that it is all just 'for fun'. Children always remember that this is a game and so they act consciously like a theatre-goer who simultaneously acts in the play. Children are capable of changing the script in their game because they know that it is not real. Likewise, in lucid dreaming the dreamer is capable of controlling the events that are taking place because they are aware that it is a dream.

When people grow up they lose the ability to play indifferently and become mentally immersed in their games as in a deep sleep losing conscious awareness of what is happening as a result. Because people are asleep in waking they turn into weak-willed puppets, obedient to the pendulums and life begins to just happen to them in the nature of a dream.

Try to live your life together as children. Adopt the roles you have attributed each other and play at them indifferently, 'just for fun'. For example, as soon as your partner begins to do something you do not like and you find yourself getting irritated as before, play your role in picturesque or grotesque manner, with humour. As a result the dynamics of the conflict caused by dreaming unconsciously when you are awake will become crystal clear. Then you will begin to realise just how many arguments are pulled out of thin air like in the soap-operas. When you become aware of this moment you will at last be able to accept yourself and others just the way they are.

Charity

"For the past two years I have been totally immersed in trading currency (FOREX) but have not been able to get to a point where I could trade stably and profitably. For two years now I have suffered constant losses. Maybe my colleague is right who writes that the market is the invention of the devil "Give what is Caesar's to Caesar and what is God's to God". They say that when you play on the market you trade in your own soul, and unfortunately it is true. That is how it is. The only way out for me now is to donate everything to the church, but this will not resolve the karmic consequences…

And what about the multivariancy of fate? Why should not one provide for one's life by trading in the currency market? Are the stories of the millionaires all just a myth? Should I eliminate the very idea of getting rich from my mind and replace it with the idea of helping others? I am no theorist and neither am I just dabbling in ideas. Everything I write I have experienced personally and not once but hundreds of times. What do you think I should go for?"

You are asking me what you should choose. Can I or anyone else really show you your true path? Only your soul can know what you should choose. All I can do is evaluate your mistakes, and even that is a subjective opinion.

You write: "The only way out for me now is to donate everything to the church". Naturally, I realise that you do not really believe that this is the only solution available to you. Yet, why would you consider making donations a solution at all? It is not the adherents of God, but the adherents of pendulums that have instilled the idea that you 'save your soul' or are absolved of certain karmic issues by giving your money away to the church. Any true servant of God will tell you, that absolution or pardon can never be bought for any amount of money.

Let us call a spade a spade: the religion pendulum is not the same as God. The church is required by the pendulum, not the Almighty. God does not need your donations. If you see making a donation as a solution to your problem it means that you are trying to make a deal with Him.

Charity can eliminate the excess potential of accrued sums of money if you have a surplus of stagnant resources. However, given that you are involved in trading currency you probably are not suffering from financial stagnation.

Charity is a good deed in the true sense only if it is sincere. For example, a wealthy individual financially supports an orphanage but never visits. This is not a good deed but a deal. The support is indifferently directed and simply serves a nice idea framed with the pious phrase: "I help children!"

The motivation however, is not sincere. The sponsor does not have a passion to communicate with the children they are helping and so does not have any love for these children. They have regard for themselves as someone helping children. Can it really be bad that a person helps without love and sincerity or not? It is not necessarily bad. It is fine, but there should be any reason to hope that the act will somehow 'count'.

Such a sponsor may increase their rating in public opinion but in terms of compensation, the soul will get diddly quat. It is better to love yourself sincerely than to love others insincerely. I would even go so far as to say, that it is absolutely essential to love oneself.

You wrote: "Should I eliminate the very idea of getting rich from my mind and replace it with the idea of helping others?" Do not burden yourself with the idea of having to help others if you do not genuinely feel motivated to do so. On the contrary, work on accumulating your own wealth. This you will do sincerely and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in doing so. Pay no attention to the cries of pendulum supporters who try to force their "spiritual" values upon you. Remember, that a truly spiritual person will never try and force anything upon you.

The highest spiritual value you can have is your own soul. Turn away from pendulums and turn to face your soul. Think of yourself, for example, creating your own well-being. That said the approach to creating your own wealth needs to be different to the one you are currently taking. The soul does not want money. It wants the things that money can buy. Do you really know what you want? Perhaps not. Ask yourself what you really want in life. What would turn your life into one continuous celebration? Define the goal.

Your mind takes the direct approach: money will buy almost anything, consequently, it makes sense, to go straight for the money. The problem is that the soul is direct in its own manner and does not share the minds desire for cash. The soul has no understanding of what money is, basically because, put simply, it does not know how to 'think' in abstract terms, so the soul will never become the mind's ally when it comes to accruing money. The mind is powerless without the soul just as the soul is powerless without the mind.

So what should you do? Define you goal and take steps towards it without considering the how to achieve the goal. The means will appear – that is the whole trick. In other words, if the soul and the mind move towards the goal together, arm in arm, doors will open before you that previously appeared impregnably locked.

Could the currency market be you true door? I am not the one to judge. Yet you write: "…I have not been able to get to a point where I could trade stably and profitably. For two years now I have suffered constant losses." You can draw your own conclusions. Those who become millionaires work towards their innermost goals, not for the sake of money.

When a person moves towards their innermost goal via the right door for them the soul sings and the mind rubs its hands in glee. Does working the currency exchange bring joy to your heart? Does this vocation satisfy your mind? Only you can know the answer to these questions.

Esoteric Knowledge

"I have read a lot of literature of this kind and the interesting thing is that in principle the authors are all saying the same thing with some differences.

I for example get confused from all the available material as to what is right and what is not. Almost everyone says that it is not worth letting all the information you perceive into your heart. But what should people who are sensitive do and for example people who give alms daily? For if we stop perceiving or understanding the grief of others the world will become a callous and evil place.

In the future I want to be a journalist and already work for one publication. I mainly write newspaper stories based on the problems faced by women. You cannot write productively unless you are prepared to let their cares touch you. What should journalists do who come up against information of all kinds on a daily basis? Surely it does not mean that my entire life I will have to push pendulums or suffer myself? Perhaps I am just not getting it?

Sometimes I even wonder whether all these ideas, including Transurfing, are not just different versions of a utopia, because if you think about it, Transurfing is also a pendulum that you have created which you keep swaying with the thoughts of others. Why not simplify the laws and principles you describe?

Transurfing has not simply been 'made up' and so its laws cannot be remade. It would be impossible to 'make up' anything of this kind. Neither is it possible to learn this kind of thing from someone else. Esoteric knowledge can neither be made up nor learned. It simply resides in a commonly accessible place which I happen to call the alternatives space. Someone else might call it something else, but that does not change its essence.

In your letter you mention that you get confused about certain issues. How do you make sense of the myriad different teachings which, as you put it, although being different pretty much say the same thing? You will not believe how simple it is.

Once you have read a sea of literature on psychology and the esoteric you reach a certain point where you can stop and forget everything other people have written in books. Once you have established a basic foundation of knowledge in any given area you can source further relevant information directly from the alternatives space.

It requires boldness to rely on yourself rather than continuing to search for the answers in books. Whilst your mind is attentively focused on the words of the wise people in this world you will find confusion and be confined to the position of the eternal student. Change direction. Turn the focus of your mind to your soul and there you will find the answers to all your questions.

Do you know what differentiates those who make discoveries, creates masterpieces of culture and art and write books from others who are surprised by the discovery, delighted by the masterpiece and who read the books? How is the creator different to the critic or the teacher different to the student?

The former have the boldness to tear their mind away from the creations of others and give their attention to their soul. It is not that the critics and students have no talent. It is just that they direct the power of intention differently, towards valuing what belongs to others and learning from them.

You might think that I enjoy appealing to your emotions in a kind of empty demagoguery or chewing over common truths. When I tell you to turn the attention of your mind to your soul it probably sounds a bit vague and reeks of the kind of spirituality that is indulgently sweet.

However, the things I am talking about are quite real. It would not be quite accurate to say that your soul already knows it all. It is not that your soul already knows, it is more than unlike the mind, it has access to an information field that contains data relating to the past and the future and likewise that contains all masterpieces and discoveries.

The mind perceives the feelings of the soul as intuitive knowledge and inspiration and then interprets them in the form of commonly held ideas and classifications.

The mind can never invent anything totally new. The mind is only capable of building a new house from old blocks. Everything that is totally new is created from the unity of heart and mind. There are simple, concrete steps that can be taken to achieve this unity.

Accept as fact that all knowledge is accessible to you. Look to yourself for the answers. Walk your own path. Exercise your right to individuality. Use your access to knowledge.

Knowledge will become accessible to you as soon as you manage to change the focus of the power of your intention from others to self. You must just tell yourself that you are a unique individual and know everything. Ask yourself a question and wait for the answer. The answer will come to you, perhaps instantly, perhaps a few days later or perhaps even months later, depending on the complexity of the question, but the answer will definitely come!

Everyone's connection between heart and mind is different but whatever form the connection takes, the most important thing is to be mindful of the heart, so that the power of intention is with the heart. The whole secret lies in the fact that it does not occur to many people to do this, but those who do begin to make discoveries and create masterpieces.

The only thing that obscures unity of heart and mind is inner and outer importance. Importance locks the creative essence up in a box of established stereotypes. This is what you write about your readers' problems: "It is impossible to work productively without letting their cares touch you".

It is a phrase stamped with correctness do not you think? It just begs to be followed with something like: "how can you help them, unless you let their problems touch you?" This sounds very correct but underneath it is a false stereotype created by pendulums.

You help solve other people's problems not because you let them touch you but in spite of the fact that you are touched. Moreover, when you become mentally immersed in other peoples' problems you become incapable of solving them objectively.

People experience problems in the first place because they are totally immersed in their own enactment. Life 'happens' to them and they, like in non-lucid dreaming are subject to the power of circumstances. As soon as they come down into the auditorium and observe the theatrical from a different perspective they will see many things more clearly.

Whilst your mind is immersed in the problems of others you are in the same position as they are. In order to understand and solve someone else's problem you have to act dispassionately.

This does not mean heartlessly or indifferently but with detachment. This is the difference between the absence of importance and the absence of compassion.

You can only find solutions to problems, both your own and others' if you adopt the role of the participating spectator. All the time that you are 'living' your problems or the problems of others you remain powerless. Many Readers struggle to discern the difference between detachment and heartlessness. The absence of importance is a matter of detachment not indifference. Play your role 'just for fun' as children do. Then you will be the puppeteer and master of the situation but whilst your mind is immersed in the enactment you are the puppet on the string.

It really is not worth identifying emotionally with everything you encounter. When it comes to it, things are not as important as they at first seem. You should help those who need your help but the help should be given with detachment, without distressing yourself or sympathising on a deep emotional level as this only causes more harm. In addition, help should only be given when it is asked for.

In response to your question: "…what should sensitive people do, people who give alms daily for example? There is a very straightforward answer, but one you may not be expecting: abandon guilt.

Anyone who regularly gives alms feels a sense of duty and duty comes from feelings of guilt. There is a difference between compassion for the needy and feeling a duty to help them. Duty is not a reflection of compassion so much as a manifestation of importance.

If you suddenly feel overcome with a wave of sympathy for a particular poor old woman then this is compassion. If on the other hand you are incapable of walking past any beggar without feeling tortured by your conscience this is not compassion but a sense of duty. So, what should you do?

Acknowledge your freedom. You do not owe anyone anything. Claim your right to knowledge. You are equally as capable of creating and providing answers. Yet if you are not free of importance you will be tortured by feelings of doubt. If you are free of importance then you are right and when you are free you can allow yourself to sympathise and empathise.

How to Win Back the One You Love

"I beg you to tell me how to win back the man I love."

If the man you love left of his own choosing then it is highly unlikely that you can win him back. At least you will not be able to return him to your life with the efforts of inner intention, that is, by taking any actions directly aimed at 'getting him back'. This would include any attempt to directly influence the person in question. Even if you were to have some success, the person would not be the same.

Only outer intention will win him back. With inner intention you try to influence the world directly in pursuit of your goals. Outer intention works in such a way that the world itself meets you half way. I can briefly explain how outer intention works.

In relationships partners are guided by inner intention, i.e. they want to receive something from the other and if they do not get it they break off the relationship.

Everyone has their own way of finding fulfilment in their relationships. They may need love, sex, respect, acknowledgement, approval of certain personal qualities, closeness, mutual understanding, escape from loneliness, fun etc. Might there be one common element that unites these different needs? This common element has always existed and it remains the protection and confirmation of individual self-worth. Whatever guiding principles inform a person's actions all personal motives are linked with the feeling of self-worth. It is human nature.

Inner intention in human relationships is always aimed at protecting and confirming one's self-worth in one form or another. This is what the inner intention of your loved one is aimed at – on finding a partner that will fulfil their sense of self-worth.

So what is your inner intention aimed at? Returning your loved on and in doing so, firstly restoring your own sense of self-worth and secondly, renewing a relationship which gave you a sense of fulfilment.

Now ask yourself whether you can fulfil your partner's need if you allow yourself to be guided by inner intention alone.

If you wish to win your partner back you will have to give him the focus of his inner intention. Do not judge him for wanting to find confirmation of his worth in you, for you also wish to receive something from him.

You may recall that the first principle of Frailing sounds: abandon the intention to receive, replace it with the intention of giving and you will receive the very thing you gave up.

Abandon inner intention, whatever it is aimed at. Define the focus of your partner's inner intention. Turn your aspirations towards fulfilling your partner's intention. As soon as your actions are redirected towards fulfilling your partner's needs your own inner intention will be transformed into outer intention.

You will find that by adopting this approach you not only make your partner happy, but you receive from your partner everything you desired and more. If you can abandon the intention of receiving and replace it with the intention of giving you will instantly receive the thing you let go of.

This principle works so effectively that it makes you feel as if some magic power were at play. This is real magic. No spells or love potions are required.

Despite all we have said it is as difficult to return something that has been lost as it is to step twice into the same river. It is better to try and adhere to the principles of Frailing before the relationship starts to suffer.

In any case, before you take any kind of action if I were in your shoes I would think very carefully about whether you really want to win this man back or whether what you really have is a burning desire to restore your lost (dumped by him) self-esteem.

It is very painful to feel rejected or neglected, I know. But even if I knew all the details and circumstances of your relationship I would still be incapable of advising anything more specific. All I can do is give you the tool. How you choose to use it only you can decide.

Do not forget that the layer of your world is your mirror. If you prefer to suffer this is what will happen. If you apply the principle of coordinating intention and evaluate the current circumstances as exclusively positive, this is also how things will be.

You think that everything has gone wrong, but has it occurred to you that the split you're your loved one might be saving you from as yet unseen problems? Tell yourself that everything is unfolding as it should for it is up to you whether you choose to delight or to suffer. If I was you I would take heart, jump for joy and clap my hands in delight. Let the mirror give you pleasure.

"I have the same problem. The woman I love is leaving me – my wife (we were going out for three years and have been married for four).

The main reason for the separation is my own financial insecurity. In many ways I am too soft, timid and overly cautious. My wife thinks that with my knowledge and experience I should create my own business because it is difficult when you have a gentle nature as I do to climb to the top of the career ladder. And building a career is not really the thing for a creative type.

In some ways I agree with my wife. I tend to be too thorough always looking for additional information or ways of gaining more experience. Over the course of my career I have not worked at any one position for longer than two years (which has given me varied experience and knowledge in business). One of the strong points of my personality is that I am very receptive. This is also a disadvantage as it is a personality trait that makes it harder for me to build a career.

My wife wants stability, reliability and children. These are my personal motivations too but I do not see them developing in the context of a career, so much as on the principle of designing a profitable system (business model). This requires knowledge and experience which have always been among my highest priorities.

Three months ago my wife and I finally divorced and now my wife is renting a separate flat which her salary enables her to do. She is searching for herself but our relationship is becoming colder and she does not seem to want to see me. How can I win her back?"

I cannot give you a specific recipe to solve your problems. I offer specific solutions only in cases where the situation is crystal clear. And yet even then my opinion is purely subjective and so fallible. If I do not know the answer to a problem I ask my intuition. If my intuition does not help I recommend applying one of the principles of Transurfing because I know that this will not do any harm.

In this case, my intuition coincides with the principle according to which you must totally listen to the voice of your heart. Others would say that success lies in a good career, stability and a high-paying salary, but these things have no relation to our goals. Surely one cannot call one's true path in life climbing up the career ladder?

Careers, stability, high-paying salaries really are not goals in themselves. They are the accompanying attributes of goals. Your true goal is the thing that will turn your life into a celebration. You will never achieve anything by substituting a goal for an accompanying attribute. Attributes come of their own accord as a result of achieving the goal. For example, you receive all the benefits of life as a result of becoming a leading specialist in your field.

It makes sense to strive for your goal and not for the benefits it will bring. It seems obvious. It is something anyone can understand but the paradox is that this notion rises up in a small flash in people's awareness and is thereby eclipsed in the sticky gloss of attributes.

People strive after attributes like moths to a light-bulb except that it does not get them anywhere. How can you achieve success if you work towards the goal's attributes rather than the goal itself. This is where the myth comes from that great abundance is the pleasure of a chose few.

Public opinion imposes its stereotypes but the image of the stereotype is solely taken from the visible end results whereas success comes in the process of moving towards the goal. The end results are always visible, whereas the process that tells the story of how the goal was achieved remains concealed in the shadows. As a result the stereotype is created: go after a career and good money, in other words "make straight for the light-bulb!"

All people see is the gloss of stars already risen. There are few who turn their attention to the path that brought the star to the peaks of their success. All stars pass through a thick forest of setbacks and failure. Success only smiles on those who are convinced they walk their true path. Move towards your goal with indomitable spirit and remember: whatever happens, the alternatives flow unfolds in the direction it should. No-one can know when or how the goal will be achieved.

If you walk in the footsteps of stereotypes you are certain to be successful but the level of your success will be mediocre and require immense effort. To achieve huge success you must define your goal and move towards it unfalteringly irrespective of what anyone else might try and tell you. There is no harm in taking other people's advice into account but ultimately decision must be made with the heart. Only then will you stop beating your wings up against the light bulb like a moth in the dark.

The appropriate decision is always born from unity of heart and mind. A categorically inappropriate decision is a decision that is based on a feeling of inner discomfort. If a decision causes you the slightest feeling of unease in your gut similar to feelings of obligation your heart is saying "no". If on the other hand the decision you have made does not cause you any inner discomfort the heart is saying "yes" or "I do not know". In this case your mind makes the final choice. If the decision is right for you the heart will sing and the mind will rub its hands in glee.

On the other hand, if you cannot define your goal do not torment yourself with trying. It is not like you cannot live without a goal. Why not just live without striving towards something, if that is what you want. If this is the case then there is only one piece of advice I can give which is to move with the flow, and not just be carried along by the flow. In other words, you need to observe the principle of coordination and then life will take a calm, comfortable course. Your goal will no doubt reveal itself when you cease fitful attempts to find it.

As far as your question goes concerning how to win back your wife I am afraid there is nothing I can advise you. The key phrase: "She is searching for herself but our relationship is becoming colder and she does not seem to want to see me" it is clear that the problem is not financial stability and the lack of it. If she does not love you it is impossible to win her back.

Intention

"My question is this: can the laws of Transurfing be extended to other people? For example, in the case that a mother wants to heal her children (mine suffer from mental illness) or has (I have) the intention for Russia to become a wealthy country and for its people to be happy".

Intention is capable of anything. The issue is one of force. If you have intention with the force of a Jesus Christ then of course you can heal but the power of intention is not the power of desire. If you want something very strongly then you are unlikely to get it. Neither is it a case of faith, because where there is faith there is always room for doubt.

Intention is the dispassionate, unconditional resolve to see your will manifest in reality and the calm knowledge that this will be the case. Intention is pure when it is free of desire, fear, doubt and other importance potentials. The intention to get your mail from the post box is, for example, a pure intention.

If your willingness to heal your children is equally as pure then you will heal them but do not fall into the trap of thinking that the result will be achieved by making effort. No matter how much effort they put into it, a person who is paralyzed will never get up and move. On the other hand, they will easily reclaim their mobility if they can by chance 'remember' how they used to move.

No-one can teach the power of intention, no I, nor anyone else but Transurfing does offer methods that cause intention to work irrespective of your will. I am talking about outer intention.

In this case, if the treatment does not help you must stop trying to heal your children. What is a psychological disturbance? It is when the soul is attuned to an area of the alternatives space that has not been streamed into physical reality. Most healthy people are attuned to our physical world whereas, the mentally ill are not sick as such, they simply 'soar' in an area of the field which from our point of view seems abnormal because it has not been transformed into physical reality.

Accept your children as they are. They are not sick they are just different to other people. It is great when a person is not the same as every one else. This is what should be normal. What is not normal is the current situation in which everyone thinks and acts in the same way.

You will not achieve anything by trying to make your children normal. As I have already said, the power of intention cannot be forced. By trying, making effort and getting frustrated you simply create excess potential which in turn only aggravates the situation.

If however, you are able to accept your children the way they are and acknowledge their sanity the power of intention will come indirectly and the power of your inner intention will be transformed into outer intention.

Give your children your attention, love and as far as it is possible their freedom. Release your children from the necessity of being 'normal' and yourself from the need to make them 'normal'. Then perhaps not straight away but over the course of time, you will begin to see results.

You must also decide for yourself whether to take my advice or not. Obviously, my advice is not that of a specialist psychiatrist. Do I even have the right to give such advice at all?

You're heart will provide you with the answers to any question that relates to you personally. Trust the voice of your heart above other people's opinions including my own.

The only advantage I have is that I have no emotional attachment to your children. In this sense I have no excess potential in relationship to them and so my intention to answer your question is pure.

What I do not understand however, is why you are care so much about the fate of Russia if your own children are ill. Is not this a little too large scale for a personal concern? I am no fan of ideas aimed at making everyone happy.

Each individual can only create the layer of their world and so no one individual could possibly bestow happiness upon all of Russia. This could only be achieved if everyone were to work at it together. But people who are united by a common idea end up creating a pendulum which sooner or later engenders the destructive activities of leading adherents away from their true path and unleashing wars upon its competitors.

You know as well as I do what comes of ideas to make everyone happy. Any idea of this kind, even spiritual ones based on love for God generates a pendulum. Entire nations have been wiped out in the name of God and happiness on Earth.

No pendulum is capable of making everyone happy and any attempt to do so will cause much suffering and woe. Happiness is not a common thing that can be shared. Happiness is a very individual notion. When a nation takes action to build a happy society for all, it can only lead to the kind of shambles that according to Bulgakov reigns "not in the closet, but in the mind".

Pendulums benefit from passing off a caring for others as great heartedness and have a sophisticated knack of creating extremely convincing stereotypes. However, this is just a beautiful demagoguery. All people will be happy only when each individual sets out towards their innermost Goal through their own Door. In this sense Transurfing is a kind of pendulum for individualists but it is the only true path to a genuine rather than ephemeral happiness.

It is essential that you turn away from pendulums, let your soul out of the box of stereotypes and work on your own happiness. On the path towards your goal you will have the opportunity to do plenty of truly good deeds and of course, you will be able to help the poor and the needy because you will have greater resources.

"You say that when a person rides the wave of success they are happy and fortunate in all respects and that the main thing is not to give in to the influence of destructive pendulums. What about the fact that life is not perfect and it is rarely the case that one person is lucky in everything? Either you have growth and success at work and in your career or you are lucky in that everything is cosy and calm and loving at home. Most people want everything to be wonderful in both."

You are the one who says that no man is lucky in everything. That is your personal choice. If this is what you think, this will be true for you. The world always manifests the choice you make for yourself. You write: "Most people want everything to be wonderful in both." Here the world also manifests your choice. It impeccably reflects the fact that you want everything to be wonderful but nothing more than that. You want it do you not, so what you will receive is exactly that, your wanting self.

When you stop simply wanting and intend to have then you will receive. Take note of the Transurfing motto: "I do not want or hope, I intend".

Importance Potential

"Tell me how to overcome fear, anxiety and panic. How do you avoid getting brought down by these emotions on a practical level? When someone close to me leaves like my daughter or son for example, the fear comes over me in a wave and consumes me: Did they land ok, why do not they ring to say they have arrived?"

The issue you have touched upon here is interesting but quite complex. There is no universal recipe for fear. If you found a simple and effective way of dissolving fear that did not involved having to change your conscious awareness it would be one of the greatest discoveries of all time.

In the terminology of Transurfing fear is an excess energy potential that emerges when excessive meaning is attributed to the object of one's fear. Excess potential disrupts the balance in the field consequently giving rise to forces that eliminate the imbalance.

Suppose you found yourself having to walk along the edge of a cliff and were terrified of falling over the edge. By what means could balanced forces eliminate the excess potential? The least energy-consuming method would be to throw you into the abyss and be done with it. Nature always takes the path of least resistance.

However, since this alternative is not to your liking you overcome the resistance of balanced forces, that is, you control yourself. It turns out that in order to balance the fear potential you have to even more effort. As a result your energy expenditure is twofold, spent on the potential itself and on retaining it. Hardly any free energy remains leaving one in a kind of stupor.

If the fear potential has enough force it will not be possible to keep it under control and then balanced forces will do with you what they will. In other words, a feeling of panic arises and you are carried away by forces aimed at extinguishing the potential, that is, to towards your death. If you could manage to consciously reduce the level of importance surrounding the situation, fear would disappear. The problem is that in a situation of this kind it is impossible to consciously reduce importance. So, the only effective approach you can use is to have some kind of safety net or alternative route set up. Whatever form this takes it will be unique to each situation.

If you have no safety net all you can do is avoid struggling to control the anxiety. Trying to talk yourself out of being afraid is futile. Self-deception will not help. Any form of inner battle with fear only drains your energy and exacerbates the problem of excess potential. If it is not possible not to feel fear, then feel the fear. Act as best you can in the circumstances but do not fight the fear itself.

For example, if you are nervous before making a presentation, go for it. Be nervous naturally and with pleasure. Give yourself completely to this wonderful feeling. Allow yourself to lose your mind in the way that it pleases you most to do so. As soon as you allow yourself this freedom all the anxiety will magically dissipate eventually vanishing into thin air. This happens because a significant part of your energy was otherwise spent fighting the anxiety.

Anxiety and worry are less powerful manifestations of fear. Importance here is generated by anticipation of the unknown. In this case it is possible to reduce the bar of importance. If something is worrying you tell yourself that it is self-defeating to worry about it for as a rule, our suspicions and worst expectations become reality.

One way to eliminate anxiety is through action, whatever the kind. The potential created by anxiety and worry is dissipated in action. Idle worry will hang in the air around you until you take action. The form of action you take may not even necessarily have any connection to the object of your anxiety. It is enough to busy yourself with something and you will see straight away that the intensity of your anxiety has subsided.

The coordination of intention principle (everything is unfolding as it should) can serve as a useful reference point for lowering the bar of importance. Allow yourself not to know how events should develop. Let go the grip of control over the situation and give the situation the opportunity to successfully resolve itself successfully.

Circumstances will begin to unfold in a positive way if you consciously go with the flow rather than beating your hands on the water. You can rest assured that the coordination of intention principle works. The world has no intention of causing anyone difficulties and not because forces exist which take care of you specifically, but because it involves expending less energy.

Nature does not waste energy and it is not profitable for nature to spend energy on you. The difficulties we experience are always related to an excessive expenditure of energy. By contrast, prosperity is the norm and demands minimum expenditure of energy. The mind has no understanding of the path of least resistance and battles with the alternatives flow thereby bringing obstacles and problems upon itself. Where else could they come from? No-one has yet eradicated the law of the conservation of energy.

The coordination principle should not be taken literally or categorically. You cannot walk right into the thick of things and at the same time assure yourself that everything is unfolding as it should. But generally speaking you can rely on this principle.

"My problem is this: I have set myself very high goals but I am constantly surrounded by pendulums that get in the way of achieving them. I cannot talk about my goals or discuss my interests with anyone else and even my relatives tell me I will not make it. When I observe other people they all pretty much look the same to me. Please give me some advice."

Of course pendulums get in your way. They get in everyone's way. The way of keeping their counter impact to a minimum is to keep the bar of importance to a minimum, i.e. do not attribute anything excessive meaning. This might seem an unusual recommendation but the majority of problems are due to high inner and outer importance.

"Very high goals" are not difficult to achieve per se. It is the accepted stereotypes and the mind's false thought patterns that make them difficult to achieve. The coordination of intention principle can help you in breaking these stereotypes and thought patterns.

You can achieve any goal if it is truly yours. If the goal has been set by someone else you can expect to experience a feeling of inner discomfort when you run the mental image of the goal as it would look had it already been achieved.

As far as the choice of your goal and how to achieve it is concerned, here you can take into account what other people say to you, but their words should be given no more meaning than that. You should take instruction from the dictates of the heart and not the advice of others, particularly relatives who "only wish the best for you".

That said, I cannot detect the precise nature of the problem from your letter. The phrase: "When I observe other people they all pretty much look the same to me" is particularly vague.

"Let me explain: no-one understands me, including my friends and parents. They do not understand my desires and try to pressure me into doing what they want. They do not understand how any one could think the way I do. I am the kind of person who likes strict discipline. I plan my day, I am proactive, persistent and persevering in relation to my goals; I am eager to acquire new knowledge etc. My parents tell me to forget about all of that, find a job and have a problem free life which I consider to be very modest goals. The position of my friends is, I feel, even worse. All they think about is how to skip the next class. They insult the teachers and discuss topics of conversation which I find totally uninteresting. They also make it impossible for me to concentrate on the lesson. To top it all, my parents are constantly arguing."

Now the picture is a little clearer. You may not like my response but it is mine to make a suggestion and yours to decide whether it is relevant or not. I do not force my views on anyone but you asked me and therefore I will reply.

The solution to your problem is to play the fool. I mean it quite literally. Do not think that I am humouring you. Choose the image of the fool very carefully, one that allows you to display all your positive qualities: scrupulousness, being organised and focused. Ideally the thing you choose to be the fool should be an inanimate object so that you do not cause any discomfort. Consider carefully the object you will choose. I would suggest for example using a teddy bear.

Once you have found the appropriate dummy make a neat plan of where, when and how you will fool the fool around. It would be best to come up with a set of instructions detailing its actions, something like: "To fool around with the said fool rotate it around a longitudinal axis. The fool should be placed on an even surface in a position that will not prevent it from being rotated. The rotating of the fool is accomplished by the application of consecutive effort by means of the hands of the one fooling the fool around" and so on and so forth.

The instructions and plan should be scrupulously put together with great attention to detail including safety measures. Take the task seriously and you will end up with quite an impressive project. I recommend that you format the project in a professional manner and present it in a business folder.

Once this stage of the project is complete you can set about its implementation. Prepare thoroughly and carry out all the necessary actions conscientiously in strict accordance with the instructions. Your facial expression should be intelligent and focused. If you find yourself bursting into fits of laughter take a break, laugh as much as necessary to get it all out, then when you are calm you can continue.

You think I mock you? The thing is that the root of your problem lies in the heightened potential of inner importance. You write: "…. I am the kind of person who likes strict discipline, to plan my day, to be proactive, persistent and persevering in my goals…but I am constantly surrounded by pendulums that get in my way".

You demand too much of yourself (and possibly of others too). I do not know but I suspect that you have placed upon yourself the role of a "serious and responsible person with an important task". If this is the case you will always find others fussing around you who display he opposite qualities. For example, you will be irritated by those who are irresponsible, disorganised, undisciplined and trouble-making. Basically, all kinds of birdbrains intent on messing up your careful planning.

Why is life like this? Because your excess potential of inner importance creates an instance of powerful polarisation. People with the opposite traits will be attracted to you like iron chips to a magnet. This is how balanced forces work in their aim to eliminate potential. The world you experience is your mirror. But if you create the excess potential of inner or outer importance the mirror curves and the distortion of reality manifests in the fact of being surrounded by pendulums that get in your way.

Put more precisely, the people that get in your way are not pendulums so much as their puppets. Pendulums sense the energy of your potential and make other people behave in such a way that will get to you. As a result you get irritated and the harlequin jumps even higher. The pendulum makes it swing and receives the energy of your irritation.

As soon as you reduce the potential of importance the picture of the outside world will gradually be transformed. You will be surrounded by the same people but they will behave very differently towards you. As soon as polarisation disappears the mirror is smoothed out and reality returns to normal.

So what causes the polarisation, surely not your positive qualities? Indeed not. You obviously have very positive qualities which will undoubtedly serve you well in life. Polarisation appears as a result of dependent relationships.

Your positive qualities only create change in the external energy picture when you start comparing yourself to others. For example, you think: I am disciplined and they are slobs; they are unfocused and I am goal-oriented. Making these kinds of contrasts is what attracts polarisation.

By carrying out this ritual you will nullify your inner importance. You might think that the ritual is not for you. In that case it would be better if you simply resisted the temptation of comparing yourself to others around you. Be yourself and allow others to do the same. Let go your grip. As soon as you do this, polarisation will disappear and the rest of the world will inexplicably look different and it will stop getting in your way. Then you will understand what "Transurfing Reality" is.

"You advised one serious reader to 'play the fool'. What about those who are too busy 'fooling around'? How can they be made to do something more serious with their lives?"

No-one wants to do anything serious, not because they are serious as such, but because the things we consider serious are not the things that are meant for us. Laziness is a condition of the soul. It is quite natural for the soul not to want to busy itself with other people's affairs. Perhaps the soul did not come into this world to slave away for a pendulum but to warm itself in the sunshine by the ocean, go skiing in the Alps or travelling or any other of life's many pleasures.

"Right, so who is going to actually do some work around here?" asks the angry pendulum, to which one may reply with the words of a humorous student song: "Leave the job to the shaggy bear, who has nothing to do but roam the forest and roar there". Quite right too, for feelings of duty and obligation are the inventions of pendulums.

In reality, our world is so rich and generous that it has enough wealth to go round as long as each individual moves towards their own goal through their own door. It is unlikely that this will ever happen but that is not to stop a given individual transforming the layer of their world into a very cosy little corner.

You have to find your true goal and door. When you are moving towards your own goal you do not have to persuade or force yourself to act. The soul will skip towards its goal through its own door. To others your door might seem a burdensome task but to you it will be a pleasure.

All the time that you are moving towards someone else's goal through someone else's door you are working for a pendulum. When you are on this path the soul will always say "I do not want to" and the mind will keep insisting that you "must". This is a path to nowhere whatever reasonable arguments and beautiful scenery it is dressed in. There is only one solution – define your own goal and strive towards it.

In the meantime the remedy for forced obligation can be play. Remember how in childhood you played grown-ups at the shop or at the hospital. Imagine now that what you are doing is playing, not labouring.

You only suffer from forced obligation if your mind becomes immersed in the game. Adopt the role of the acting member of the audience, the participating spectator. Act in a detached manner. Do not give yourself entirely to the work you are forced to do. Make as if it were a game. Rent yourself out.

Reality Inversion

Reality moves its frames indomitably along the film roll of time. Holidays come and go. It is just a shame that they end so quickly. Hemmingway was right when he said that life is a moveable feast that stays with you, although rarely does anyone manage to live that way. The moveable feast is unexpectedly lost somewhere along the way after which all life's colours fade. Emptiness and oppressive melancholy fill the space in the soul sometimes for obvious reasons and sometimes not.

The worst part is that the world sinks into darkness swiftly and willingly whereas enlightenment emerges slowly with much anticipation. The tendency of man for negativity has its murky way and an oppressed state results in which heart and mind agree how bad life is.

When this happens outer intention steadily shifts reality into the darker areas of the alternatives space. The mirror responds quickly without hesitation or delay whereas enlightenment is then slow to appear because when a person feels depressed their attitude paints the layer of their world in ever darker shades. Sometimes everything seems so dreadful that you do not have the energy to recall Transurfing or anything else. How are you supposed to break the vicious circle and straighten reality out? Generally speaking it is pretty difficult to do and yet, there is a radical method that can be applied called reality inversion.

A long time ago, and still, quite recently, just twenty years ago when we were physics students we studied at a positively awful faculty where the teachers embodied the brutality of cavemen. The first year started with seventy five students but no more than twenty-five made it to the finish line. In an environment like this the working law was: if you want to make it out alive, learn to laugh.

We made up a game which I forgot about afterwards and only later came more fully to understand: the game was played according to all the rules of Transurfing. The essence of the game lay in turning your relationship to a situation on its head, that is, to initiate a kind of inversion. When things are bad the pendulum rules make you suffer, worry, crumble under the weight of your problems and generally lose it or go on a complete bender. Our game rules dictated that you had to do the opposite. How well we managed it you can judge for yourself.

"I was delightfully disappointed!" "Luckily, something terribly unfortunate has happened!"

"Something irreparable happened and my affairs instantly took off!"

"A fine gentleman in a car has just been so charming as to drench me in mud!"

"All my attempts were in vain which secured my success!"

"She does not love me! No, that would be too good to be true. She is faking it beautifully!"

"He dumped me and I laughed like a Budenny horse!"

And so on in the same vein of artful wit. The only thing that got in the way was the hysterical laughter that followed all our attempts to transform misfortune. You are not allowed to laugh out loud in the middle of a lecture and so suppressed laughter turned into rumbling, snorting, chuckling and gurgling and various other sounds characteristic of ungulates and amphibians. During break times the energy that accumulated poured out into roars of laughter quite Castaneda-like in style.

It is clear what was happening from the point of view of Transurfing. Firstly, any associated importance is reduced and consequently excess potential also. Secondly, the parameters of the thought energy of delight, even if it was silly, were far from corresponding to sorry life lines and so a more positive shift occurred at once. The mirror responds quickly and so the heart and mind sigh with relief and as a result reality is evened out.

Once we were preparing for an exam on the theory of probability. The teacher was a fearsome man putting it mildly. It was a sinister night in the student rooms in the shadow of the exam next day. My friend and I were racking our brains as to how we could even out the situation.

"Who knows what probability is and how to calculate it?"

"It is a mystery shrouded in darkness."

"They are like old hags sitting there cramming."

"That is not for us. Are we real men or what?"

"Half-baked bastards." One of the 'hags' overhearing our conversation stuck their head round the door: " Shut up low-life, we are Gentleman!" "Assholes."

"Young scientists!"

"Morons."

Eventually someone came up with the idea of playing cards all night at which point I said: "No guys, that is over the top. I am going to bed". But the 'gentlemen' dressed up in proper suits and ties and with cheap cigars in their mouths and bottles of some suspicious looking liquid on the table they sat down to play.

When I woke in the morning I found them sitting at the table still.

"You idiots" I said, "you are all going to fail!"

They stood up, shook themselves a little and set off for the slaughter.

As a result of their prank they did not do well at all. They all got a 'C'. Not me though. No. I got an 'E'. That was a true success! How they envied me! They all came up to me afterwards with a searching look and asked me earnestly how I did it.

I held my head up proudly.

"You see. I told you so. I hope you understand gentlemen where you can stuff your sorry 'C's."

That same day we celebrated my victory and it was great fun. The next day I had to re-sit the exam and got an 'A'. I am not making it up. Believe me, if you do the inversion well, you will not be kept waiting for the result.

If your mood is so low that you just cannot bear to bring yourself to do an inversion then you have to make your mood even worse taking it to the extreme, the grotesque, the absurd. If you increase the level of contrast in a slide to the maximum there comes a point when it changes into a negative. That is pretty much what we were doing.

One girl was feeling depressed. To make the situation worse she dressed up in black so everyone would know she was in mourning. Her friends came up to her expressing their condolences and enquiring about how exactly she intended to commit suicide and when she was planning to do so. Eventually the group surrounded her and started wholeheartedly singing a depressing, sorrowful song with wailing and wringing of hands worthy of savages–the whole shebang. Gradually, the primitive song became a prolonged cry and wolfish howl and when they could hold it in no longer everyone including the lady in black broke out into uncontrolled laughter.

Of course, it is easy if you have a fun group of friends but if you do not have then you must manage alone. How you do it, is a personal thing. Joking aside it really does work to take your condition to the absurd. Substances that bring about a change in consciousness should be avoided however as the results of taking something can be even worse.

Personally, I am no fan of using the contrast method in solitude, so I do not so much recommend it as offer the option up for information's sake. A low depressed state indicates that the energy levels of intention are extremely low. It is better to try and keep your energy levels at a healthier level in the first place and avoid depression that way.

As you can see, reality inversion is similar to the principle of coordination of intention. The only difference is that inversion is a more radical approach based on humour.

SUMMARY

If you do not control reality, reality will control you.